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Ulala vs Mettaton
Description They're deadly. They're dangerous. They're FABULOUS! Which of these groovy television stars will emerge victorious in a fight to the end? We'll find out... in a DANCE BATTLE! Intro Wiz: The art of dance. A style that can be either as simple as silverware, or as majestic as a swan. Boomstick: No matter how you do it, it's pretty damn awesome if you can do it while fighting off your enemies. Wiz: Like Ulala, the number one reporter in the galaxy. Boomstick: And Mettaton, the Underground's deadliest game show host. He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE. Ulala Wiz: Flash forward all the way to the 25th century. Outer space was brimming with all sorts of mysteries and events. So, naturally, topics like these simply had to reported to the entire galaxy! Boomstick: Now I may not be into the news, but MAN does this stuff make me bust a move! Anyway, there were several channels on that featured plenty of colorful characters. The Space Police, a news channel run by aliens, and a show about (JAGUAAAAAAAR), a man in search of the truth. Wiz: But by far the most popular of these channels is Space Channel 5, the very home of the famous "Ulala's Swingin' Report Show." Wiz: Born on Earth in 2477, Ulala was welcomed to the world in Eastern Japan. At the young age of 12, Ulala became the lone survivor of an unspecified spaceship accident, but was rescued by former Space Channel 5 reporter (JAGUAAAAAAAR). Boomstick: But sadly, he quit before she could even say thank you. Bummer. Despite her savior leaving, Ulala would be forever grateful because of her rescue, so she made it her life-long dream to become a reporter for Space Channel 5 herself. Which she accomplished after another 10 years. And what better way to broadcast than to top it off with some funky dance moves?! Wiz: Despite her rather traumatic childhood, Ulala never really seems to let any of that phase her that much. In fact, she reports on rather treacherous locations all the time, often confidently strutting forward into the face of danger, usually without showing any sign of fear. Boomstick: Ulala's also as nimble as she is confident, as she can dodge projectiles that travel ridiculously fast! But when Ulala needs to go on the offensive, she has her trusty Tension Blasters, a pair of laser guns that are capable of vaporizing almost anything in a single shot! Wiz: On the other hand, she also has a different function on her blasters that can rescue anyone shot and have them join her dance troupe. Boomstick: You'll never guess what it's called. Give up? It's the Rescue Beam. Gaming's ultimate diva is also extremely skilled at mimicking her enemies' movements. Like that one time, when she successfully cleared an insane wave of robots while escaping an exploding space station using her dance energy alone! Wiz: She also carries with her a set of various different musical instruments, two of which have surprising effects in battle. She has a guitar that can send off powerful shockwaves, as well as a drum set that can tear down enemy defenses. Boomstick: Ulala's also got a collection of costumes that work as uncanny disguises. And on top of that, a few of them are even able to somehow alter her size on top her appearance! Wiz: One of the most useful of these costumes is her Spy Suit, which is perfect for any Mission: Impossible scenario. Boomstick: And don't ask us how, but she's even able to call up various different SEGA characters to assist her in battle! Wiz: Speaking of assistance, Ulala is always accompanied by her boss, who goes by the name of Fuse. Although he can get rather hotheaded from time to time, Fuse encourages Ulala every step of the way, giving her useful advice and even sacrificing himself for her sake! Boomstick: She's made friends with a rival reporter named Pudding, the head of the Space Police, (JAGUAAAAAAAR), and even Michael Jackson himself! That's right! This reporter has actually become friends with the one and only king of pop! Also... remember how I said Ulala made it through an insane wave of robots with dance energy? Wiz: Well, dance energy appears to be her main source of power. The better she dances, the more her energy overwhelms her opponent. In fact, it has been proven that one can manipulate dance energy into laser beams, and even travel between dimensions! Granted, it takes LOADS of dance energy to do either of these. Boomstick: Wait wait wait. In the future, humans are able to travel through space-time and shoot giant death rays... by busting a move?! How?! Wiz: Don't ask me. Nothing about this "dance energy" scientifically makes any sense! The only thing even remotely close to an explanation we have is when Ulala herself said "As long as you move in tune with your heart, your feet will do the rest." Boomstick: Nope. Still doesn't make sense. Either way, dance energy doesn't seem like it should EVER be underestimated... Wiz: Agreed. And when she gathers enough power from both herself and her friends, she becomes Super Ulala, who has so much of it flowing through her, she can weaken her enemies severely just by singing! Also... Super Ulala's clothes are almost all amalgamations of her dance energy, and it's rumored that the only actual clothing she wears in this state... is her underwear. Boomstick: WOAH, hold up!! She's... she's only wearing panties? Wiz: Yes. Boomstick: So... she's basically naked. Wiz: Yes. Boomstick: ...You think it'd be wrong to- Wiz: We've been over this, Boomstick. YES! Boomstick: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! *Ahem...*. During her reports across the Milky Way, Ulala has done some pretty impressive things. She's saved the galaxy from being forced to dance, survived the vacuum of space, perfectly copied Michael Jackson's trademark moonwalk on her first attempt, sent robots made of solid metal flying away with her hands (also in space), and even played a role in saving the entire multiverse! Twice! Wiz: But just because dance energy is beyond all sense of physics and logic, that doesn't mean she's invincible. To tell the truth, Ulala's performance is entirely dependent on two things: the music, and her show's ratings. Boomstick: Yeah, see, if there isn't any music playing in the background, she's pretty bad in a fight. For example, when she duked it out with a stupidly huge robot clone of herself (don't ask), the music was cut off, and she was completely helpless as she was pelted with missiles. Wiz: Not to mention the fact that the more she messes up, the more her show's ratings decrease. When that happens, Ulala starts to dance rather sloppily, most likely producing less dance energy. Boomstick: But those kinds of things will not stop Ulala from trying to report to all of her fans across the galaxy! And if you think you can take her on in a dance battle, take my word for it, and chu yourself goodbye. Ulala: With my news savvy and my funky moves... I'll get to the bottom of this. Mettaton Wiz: Long ago, two races ruled over the Earth... Boomstick: Goat people and Dora the Explorer clones! Wiz: N-No... Humans and Monsters. One day, war broke out between the two races. Boomstick: But the monsters lost the war, most likely because humans were far more durable than they ever were. So the humans, using a magic spell, sealed their enemies underground at the bottom of Mount Ebott, and the monsters oh-so creatively named their new home "The Underground". Wiz: It was possible for one to manage to destroy the Barrier created by the spell. However, this needed to be done by a creature containing the power of seven human souls. Boomstick: So, the monsters' king, Asgore, worked out a plan: he would patiently wait for seven humans to make the mistake of falling into the Underground and have his subjects kill them, bringing their soul to the king himself. Wiz: The monsters of the Underground came in many different varieties. Big, small, powerful, wimpy, brave, etc. However, the royal scientist Alphys began to design an entertainment robot to keep the monster residents occupied during the wait for the next human. This robot was eventually given the name Mettaton. Boomstick: Megatron? Wiz: Mettaton. Wiz: But Mettaton wasn't always the Underground's primary source of quality television. Before he became the star he had always wanted to be, he was simply a ghost with a dream. Living with his cousin Napstablook under the name "Happstablook" in the area known as the Waterfall, he had always wanted to become a television star. Boomstick: So he resorted to chatting with doctor Alphys herself and presented her with an idea: create for him his own personal robot body so he could finally achieve his goal. The doctor agreed to the plan and got straight to work. She designed for Happstablook his very own mechanical body, and he absolutely loved it! Wiz: It had everything. Flexibility, voice modification, and even magic, which gave him all sorts of different sorts of powers! Now allowed to finally become the star he dreamed of being, Happstablook then took on his new appropriate name. Boomstick: Megatron! Wiz: Mettaton. Mettaton is incredibly powerful and knows how to hold his own. However, he is most of the time more focused on providing entertainment for his fans across the Underground than he actually is on fighting his opponent. Boomstick: Really? I feel kinda tempted to kill him right now to teach him a lesson. Wiz: Actually Boomstick, that's not really a good ide- (Boomstick attempts to attack Mettaton... and it does absolutely nothing) Boomstick: ...HOW IN THE HELL?! Wiz: Yeah, had you let me finish, you would have learned that Mettaton has a grand total of 999 DEF, which is short for Defense. Boomstick: Wait... ARE YOU SAYING HE'S INVINCIBLE?! Wiz: Correct! In his normal form, Mettaton is completely indestructible to all forms of attack, and he even knows a few attacks himself to boot. Although he's not much of a fighter in this form, Mettaton is incredibly crafty, and will often lure his enemies into well-laid traps, ranging from rooms filled with bombs, tricky tile puzzles, and so on. Oh yeah, and he also has chainsaws and finger-generated electricity beams. Boomstick: God damn... But wait. You keep saying "form". Do you mean he has another one? Wiz: As long as you manage to flip a switch on his back, this will happen. (Smoke covers a stage, and a mechanical voice is heard) Mettaton: OH YES... (A tall, obscured figure appears on the stage, leaving Boomstick in shock) Boomstick: Oh. My. God. Did he just turn into Michael Jackson?! Are we pitting Ulala against one of her own friends?! Wiz: Boomstick, sometimes I really, REALLY worry about you... Wiz: This is Mettaton's EX form, a transformation which, when activated, dramatically increases his mobility, dancing skills, attack arsenal, and overall performance. He also has an additional form called "Mettaton NEO", but we won't be counting that, since it's actually more of a downgrade. Boomstick: As Mettaton EX, he sacrifices his invincibility in exchange for much deadlier attacks. He can summon laser-generating disco balls, bombs that explode in cardinal directions, and even miniature clones of himself that, although not indestructible, attack by ramming into enemies and... blowing kisses at them...? Wiz: He can attack with copies of his legs which move when hit, attack with copies of his arms that retract when hit, rewind his attacks briefly, and possibly his deadliest technique: detaching his heart piece from his chest to unleash a flurry of laser beams. Though this "heart-to-heart" attack does leave the heart itself vulnerable to enemy fire. Boomstick: And sometimes he'll feel so generous that he even calls for a union-regulated break to give his opponent a chance to breath. For some reason. Wiz: Which brings us to his collection of weaknesses. Mettaton's EX form, don't forget, is significantly more vulnerable to damage than his normal form. Not only that, but as Mettaton EX, he runs the risk of losing battery power far quicker than before. Boomstick: And that's not even mentioning the fact that he's easily distracted. I mean, all you gotta do is tell the guy that there's a mirror behind him and he'll be revealing the switch to change him to EX mode in a second! Wiz: But don't regard all these weaknesses as things that just ruin him. Mettaton is indeed a powerful warrior and a wonderful television star. Boomstick: And if you ever happen to run into him, just remember this useful advice: play his game correctly... OR YOU DIE!!! Mettaton: THIS WAS JUST THE PILOT EPISODE!! NEXT UP, MORE DRAMA! MORE ROMANCE!!! MORE BLOODSHED!!! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLINGS...!!! Intermission Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all! Boomstick: It's time for a DANCE BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEATH BATTLE! Ulala: Ulala's Swingin' Report Show! (The camera cuts over to Ulala, who strikes a few poses. She then starts performing her trademark stylish strut across a mechanical bridge, mic in hand) Ulala: Hey there, space cats! This is Ulala, reporting here in this strange place apparently known as the CORE. For those of you just tuning in, I've fallen into the bottom of a large mountain, and I've made my way here. Fuse: Alright, Ulala. Let's see if we can find the way out somewhere in here. Ulala: Roger! (She makes it over to an elevator) Ulala: This place isn't very cheerful, is it, viewers? (The background music stops) Fuse: Wait a sec... There's a signal coming up on the space detector! Ulala, watch out! Ulala: Huh?! (Mettaton suddenly crashes through a wall and appears right behind Ulala) Mettaton: HELLO ONCE AGAIN, BEAUTIES AND GENTLE-BEAUTIES!! WELCOME TO TODAY'S EPISODE!!! PREPARE TO JUMP OUT OF YOUR SEATS IN EXCITEMENT, BECAUSE IT SEEMS AS THOUGH WE'VE GOT OURSELVES (DRUM ROLL PLEASE)...! (A drum sounds out of seemingly nowhere) Mettaton: A HUMAN!!!! (Confetti rains down from the ceiling) Mettaton: AND THAT'S NOT ALL, FOLKS! IT ALSO SEEMS AS THOUGH THAT THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR IS TRYING TO STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT AWAY FROM YOURS TRULY!! HOW HORRID!! (Booing can also be heard from seemingly nowhere) Mettaton: BUT NEVER FEAR, DARLINGS! THAT BEING SAID... NOW I HAVE EVEN MORE REASONING TO KILL HER!! I CAN TAKE AWAY BOTH HER SOUL, AND HER FAME AS WELL!!! Fuse: I don't know what the hell this thing is, but it certainly yells a lot. Alright, girl! Show it what you're made of! Ulala: Roger! (Ulala takes out her Tension Blasters and aims) Mettaton: IT APPEARS THEY WANT TO FIGHT BACK!! VERY WELL THEN! SO WHAT IF A FEW PEOPLE HAVE TO DIE? THAT'S SHOW BUSINESS, BABY! Announcer: FIGHT!!! (Ulala fires the shot she prepared while shouting "Chu!" to start off the battle, which has no effect on Mettaton.) Mettaton: I'M SO VERY SORRY, DARLING! BUT YOUR LITTLE TOY GUNS WON'T BE HELPING YOU HERE! Fuse: What in the... Did that even do a thing?! Mettaton: UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU, I'M AFRAID ACTUALLY TRYING TO FIGHT BACK WAS THE WRONG ANSWER! (Mettaton then points his finger at Ulala, unleashing a beam of electricity. Ulala takes the blow.) Ulala: Agh! Fuse: Keep trying, Ulala! It can't hold up against them forever! Ulala: Roger! I'll dance up a storm and blow this robo away! (Ulala starts performing a rather funky dance, charging up her reserve Dance Energy. The robot responds by firing more electricity beams at her. This time, however, Ulala manages to dodge them, shouting out the directions in which she dodges.) Ulala: Left! Left, left! Right, left, down! (Afterwards, she pulls out her Blasters again, proceeding to shoot out a flurry of shots. These still have no effect on Mettaton, but the reporter keeps pulling the triggers anyway.) Mettaton: OH ME OH MY, THIS MUST BE SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT FOR YOU!! Fuse: Damn it! What is this thing made of? Hold on, girl! I'm calling for backup! Mettaton: OOH, IS IT THAT TIME ALREADY? HOLD TIGHT, BEAUTIES!! IT'S TIME FOR A QUICK WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! (The lights in the room are shut off, leaving nothing visible but pitch black.) Ulala: Hey! Who turned out the lights?! (Soon after, Mettaton's voice is heard.) Mettaton: TODAY'S PROGRAM HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY... (The lights turn back on, revealing Mettaton wearing a chef's hat. Lord knows when he got that.) Mettaton: ...METTATON'S COOKING SHOW!! WE SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE FRESH STEAKS, BURGERS, SMOOTHIES, ETC. IN 30 MINUTES OR LESS!! STAY TUNED TO SEE US TEACH YOU HOW TO PROPERLY SLICE YOUR HUMANS!!! (Mettaton pulls out a chainsaw and gets it running.) Mettaton: OR KEEP WATCHING TO SEE A PREVIEW!! Ulala: Woah! Where the heck did he get that thing? (Mettaton quickly moves up to Ulala and swings the chainsaw at her in various directions. Ulala swiftly dodges each one. At one point, Mettaton swings the chainsaw downward towards the ground, Ulala dodges it, and it gets stuck in the floor. Mettaton attempts and struggles to pull it out, and Ulala reacts quick as a wink, jumping high out of danger behind him. By the time she turned back around, Mettaton had already pulled the chainsaw out of the metal floor.) Mettaton: OF COURSE, I SHOULD NOTE THAT IT'S MUCH EASIER TO DO THIS WHEN THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD... WHAT SAY WE MAKE THIS A TAD EASIER? (The robot snaps his fingers, and with a loud clunking noise, the bridge Ulala first entered on began to back up, until it was impossible to reach anymore.) Mettaton: THERE WE GO, NICE AND COZY! Ulala: Oh, this can't be good... Mettaton: NOW THEN, WHERE WERE WE? AH YES! MORE DRAMA! MORE ROMANCE!!! MORE BLOO- (His sentence was cut short by the sight of a small blue, yellow, and red spaceship with wings, as well as a werewolf running on its hind legs. The spaceship flew over the gap, and the werewolf performed a huge leap over the same gap. They both proceeded to annoy Mettaton by moving around him and attacking his metal exterior.) Fuse: I called Opa-Opa and the Altered Beast to give you a bit of a hand! Ulala: Phew! Thanks, Fuse! I'm not sure if their attacks are gonna do anything more than what my blasters did, but it's worth a shot! Fuse: Actually, Ulala, that's not exactly why I called them. I did a quick scan of the robot during the start of the fight, and there's apparently a big switch on his back. I'm not sure what it'll do, but he's been hiding it from you for a while, so it must be something good! Ulala: There IS a switch on him, now that I look more closely. Fuse: I don't think I really need to do any more explaining, do I? (Ulala runs up to Mettaton's exposed back, and kicks the switch to the side. Mettaton then freezes in place, while Opa-Opa and the Altered Beast notice that their assigned mission is accomplished and run off.) Mettaton: DID YOU. JUST FLIP. MY SWITCH? (Mettaton turns back around to face Ulala, puts his hands on his "head" and starts moving side to side rapidly. A bright light fills the room, completely obscuring Ulala's vision.) Ulala: AHH!! ... Mettaton: OH YES... (To be continued the next time I have time to work on this.) Character Voting Poll Who do YOU want to win? Ulala Mettaton Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Video Games' themed Death Battles